


Entre Nous

by FurrySaint



Series: Entre Nous [3]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-17 23:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1407244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FurrySaint/pseuds/FurrySaint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is it love or loss for Ami and Makoto? And what part does Rei play play in the drama?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Entre Nous

And if you said this life ain't good enough  
I would give my world to lift you up  
I could change my life to better suit your mood  
   --Santana "Smooth"  
  
  
"Oh, wow! Look at the time!"  
  
Usagi brought everyone's attention to the clock, where they saw it was well after 10pm.  
  
Rei looked embarrassed. "Oh! I didn't even notice it was nighttime!" It had been an overcast day, and they had turned the lights on as soon as they'd gotten together at Rei's.  
  
Makoto looked at Ami, "Well, at least you kept our attention on studying for the test, instead of the time."  
  
"Yes, well, that's not always a good thing..." Ami replied, blushing a little.  
  
"Especially on a Saturday!" Usagi said with a pout.  
  
"Do you want to fail the test?" Rei asked as she stood and Usagi pouted even more. Rei clapped her hands together, drawing everyone's attention to her. "Since it is so late, I invite you all to stay for the night. We have more than enough room."  
  
Usagi fairly bounced to her feet, "Cool! And no school tomorrow! We can sleep in late! Yes! May I use your phone, Rei-chan? I need to call home and tell my parents."  
  
"Me too," Minako said, getting up with a stretch.  
  
"Sure. You know where it is, Usagi?"  
  
"Yep! Come on, Minako-chan!" Minako gave a quick "eep!", as Usagi fairly dragged her out of the room.  
  
Makoto sighed as she gathered her books. "Well, _this_ stinks."  
  
Rei glared at her. "What? You don't like my hospitality?"  
  
"Rei! No! Geez...! I meant that I _have_ to go home. My neighbors are out of town for the weekend and I told them I would feed their dog for them while they were gone. And this is a _big_ dog that is _not_ happy when he misses a meal!"  
  
"Oh," Rei said, taken aback. "Okay. Sorry." She looked at Ami, who was gathering her books together, "At least I'll have _you_ to help me with the 'Trouble Twins'," she said, jerking her thumb in the direction Usagi and Minako had gone.  
  
"Umm.." Ami said, looking sheepish.  
  
Rei planted her hands on her hips and gave an exasperated sigh. "Not you _too_? What do _you_ have to feed?"  
  
"My computer, actually..."  
  
Rei and Makoto gave Ami mutual looks of "Huh?!" which caused her to start giggling.  
  
"Hee! What I mean is, I have some work to do, that I can only do on my computer." As Rei started to open her mouth, Ami continued, "And before you ask, no, I can't do it on my minicomputer, because I just started a couple of days ago and haven't transferred the files over yet. Sorry."  
  
Rei sighed again. "You're right Mako-chan, this stinks. God willing, I can make it through the night without them destroying the shrine..."

 

* * *

 

As Makoto and Ami stepped outside, the wind grabbed at them. It pulled at their clothes, and caused Ami to stagger against Makoto.  
  
"Whoa! Easy there!" Makoto said, as she grabbed Ami to steady her. "Are you okay?" Ami nodded, and Makoto looked up to the sky. "Wow! Look at that!" she said, eyes wide as she watched the thick clouds race across the sky. There were occasional rips in the clouds. Here, a clear patch of starlight. There, a slice of the moon. The rips were swiftly becoming smaller and smaller...  
  
"Maybe we _should_ stay here." Ami said, raising her voice to be heard over the wind as she eyed the rushing clouds.  
  
"No... I think we can make it. _If_ we hurry! C'mon!" Makoto started running toward the shrine steps. With one last hurried glance at the sky, Ami followed.

 

* * *

 

The last block to Makoto's was covered in a dead run, with rain, wind, and lightning hard at their heels. Somehow, Makoto was able to find her keys, unlock her door, and open it, without slowing her forward motion. As she entered her apartment, she spun around, grabbed Ami, and yanked her inside. Then she slammed the door shut behind herself and planted her back against it, as though barring an invader.  
  
 **kraaaaaaaaaak-BOOOOOM!**  
  
They both jumped and winced as the lightning lit the dark room, and the thunder made the walls vibrate. As though that were some signal, rain and wind began lashing the building.  
  
"Ami," Makoto said between gasps, "I don't think you're gonna make it home tonight."  
  
Ami, who had made it a few steps in before leaning up against the hall wall, nodded her head. "I think you're right." she gasped.  
  
After they had regained their breath, they pulled their shoes off and set them beside the door. Makoto turned on the overhead light and made her way to the couch that Ami had just collapsed on. Dropping down beside Ami, she said with a weary grin, "I also think that dog is going to have to wait till morning to be fed.  I don't care if I _am_ the Senshi of Nature, I am _not_ going out in this!"  
  
Ami opened her mouth, paused while a another peal of thunder shook the apartment, then said, "Good idea." She sighed. "Oh, well. Even if I were home, I couldn't use the computer with all this lightning. May I use your phone? Mom's at the hospital and I want to let her know where I am."  
  
Makoto pointed past Ami. "Right behind you. Would you like something to eat? Since Usagi inhaled most of the food I brought this afternoon..." she said with a grin.  
  
"I don't want you to go to any trouble..." Ami said as she dialed.  
  
"'Trouble'?  Ami-chan, this is me, remember?  The one who loves cooking?" Makoto grinned as she got up.  "I just hope the power doesn't go out before I get done!" She headed into the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

Though she thought of it as cheating, there were times when Makoto was glad she had gotten a microwave oven. This was one of them. As though _someone_ had heard her comment, the lights flickered briefly while she was deciding what to fix. Hating the idea, but knowing she had to get something fixed quickly, she assembled some leftovers and heated them in the microwave. Then she mixed up a quick salad and side dish with some vegetables she'd picked up the day before. No sooner had the microwave dinged than the lights flickered one last time and went out.  
  
They ended up dining by candlelight.

 

* * *

 

"Glad you have a gas water heater," Ami said as she helped Makoto wash the dishes.  
  
Makoto nodded. "You didn't have to help, you know. You're my guest."  
  
"Oh, I don't mind. It's repayment for the very good food. I can't believe that was leftovers."  
  
Makoto blushed a bit. "Ah, I just wish the power hadn't gone out. I would have cooked you something. Sadly, my stove is electric. I've been wanting a gas one, but just don't have the money for it."  
  
Ami dried the last plate and put it up in the cabinet. "You know, I could ask my mom to help with that, if y--"  
  
Makoto turned with a sharp look. "Ami-chan! No!" She took a breath. "Thank you, but no. You don't need to do that. We can't always get what we want. What I have is fine." She smiled. "No one's complained about my cooking so far," she said with a wink.  
  
Ami grinned. "True. Forget I said anything."  
  
"Done." Makoto walked through the candlelit living room toward the bedroom. "You take a shower first and I'll find you something to wear to bed."  
  
Ami followed her. "Hey! I'm not taking over your bed. I can sleep on the couch."  
  
Makoto poked her head out the bedroom door. "Who said anything about taking it over? We're going to share it."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Makoto laughed. "You've never seen my bed. Come here." She waved her hand at Ami who took the last few steps across the living room and looked in the door.  
  
"Wow..." Ami understood what Makoto was saying now. Her bed was huge. It took up most of the floorspace in the room. If the closets hadn't had sliding doors, Makoto wouldn't have been able to open them all the way.  
  
"Yeah," Makoto said as she looked though said closets. "It was my parent's. One of the few things I kept. Mainly because it's so darn comfy. Ah! Here we go." She pulled out a dark green button-up shirt. "This is the smallest one I have, but it'll probably still be big on you." She handed it to Ami. "There's towels in the bathroom."  
  
Ami nodded and undid her uniform scarf as she headed to the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

When Ami came out of the bathroom, Makoto paused in the midst of watering the many houseplants she kept. She couldn't help but grin. The shirt she had given Ami came down to just above her knees, and the sleeves looked to be rolled up to half their length. "You look so cute! Like a kid wearing her father's shirt!"  
  
"Hey! It's not _my_ fault you're so tall." Ami said with a matching grin. She saw that most of the candles in the living room were out, but some had been moved into the bedroom. "Do you have a hanger I can put my uniform on?"  
  
Makoto nodded as she put the watering can down and took off her hairband. "There's one on the back of the bedroom door. My turn now," she said as she picked fresh towels and her nightclothes off the couch and headed into the bathroom.  
  
After Ami had hung up her uniform, she got her history textbook out of her bag for some bedtime reading. Before going into the bedroom again, she blew out all but one of the candles in the living room, knowing that Makoto had just left them for her to see her way around the unfamiliar apartment. As she walked into the bedroom, she caught her reflection in the full-length mirror Makoto had on the wall beside the closets. She did look like she'd raided her dad's closet. Of course, unlike Makoto, she didn't think her dad had a bag of rose petals in _his_ closet. She could smell the faint scent of roses wafting up from the shirt.  
  
Since the alarm clock was on the left side of the bed, Ami got in on the right and opened her book. Considering it was after midnight, she didn't think even the fascinating section on the fall of Czarist Russia would keep her awake long. And she was right. The rain and the late hour soon caused her eyes to start drooping a few minutes before she heard Makoto come out of the bathroom. When she saw her blow out the candle in the living room, Ami marked her place in the book and put it on the nightstand, blowing out the candles there.  
  
"Wow, I'm tired," Makoto said as she came in the bedroom wearing light green pajamas, her long hair loose from it's normal ponytail. She blew candles out as she went around the room. "And no wonder, it's after midnight! Wooh, long day." She settled on the bed and blew out the last few candles on her nightstand, leaving the room lit only by the city's lights and the occasional flash of lightning. It had been calm for a bit, but it seemed that another storm was coming.  
  
"Well, Usagi-chan was right. We can sleep late tomo--today," Ami said as she lay down and pulled the covers up.  
  
Makoto nodded as she got under the covers as well. "Mmmhmm. And I intend to. 'Night, Ami-chan..."  
  
"Goodnight, Mako-chan. Sweet dreams..."

 

* * *

 

Across the district, a certain miko prayed before a certain sacred fire...

 

* * *

 

Ami awoke with a start. The rolling-rumble of the thunderclap still echoed in her ears, while her heart thumped hard in her chest. Rain lashed at the window, and the wind howled around the building like a lost soul.  
  
As her heart slowed back down to normal, she noticed that Makoto wasn't with her in the bed. She placed her hand on the sheets and realised they were cold, so Makoto had been gone for awhile.  The door to the bedroom was also closed. When they had gone to bed, Makoto had left it open.  
  
Her curiosity aroused, Ami slipped out of the bed and padded quietly to the door. What with all the sounds of the storm, she couldn't hear anything from the far side of the door, so she slowly opened it just enough to see into the living room.  
  
The lights were still out. The whole tableau was lit solely by intermittent flashes of lightning, and what Ami saw chilled her to the bone...  
  
Makoto was sitting on the couch, bent forward, with her arms resting on her knees. With a detached air, as though idly examining it for imperfections, she studied the large carving knife in her hands.  
  
"Mako-chan?!" Ami gasped, as thunder exploded overhead and the room was filled with blue-white light.  
  
Makoto's head jerked up and her eyes locked with Ami's. A thousand emotions flashed across her face quick as lightning, leaving behind only sorrow and resignation. "I thought you were asleep," she said in a voice that barely rose above the storm.  
  
Ami opened the door the rest of the way, but didn't move. A flurry of emotions crossed her face as well, finally settling on shock and concern. "The thunder woke me. Mako-chan...what are you _doing_?"  
  
Makoto's eyes turned back to the knife. She tilted it a bit to catch the light from the windows. "I couldn't sleep."  
  
"What are you doing with the _knife_ , Mako-chan?" Ami asked, and only a hint of the desperation she felt leaked into her voice.  
  
Makoto sighed, her eyes closing for a moment before opening to look at Ami as she spoke in a weary voice, "In the middle of the night, when I am the only one awake. The only one _alive_. When I am utterly and totally alone, and at my most vulnerable. That is when I examine my soul to see if I am worthy to see the day."  
  
"'Worthy'?! Of course you're worthy!"  
  
"No! You don't understand!" Makoto brought her fist to her chest. "In _here_. If I am worthy in my own heart. If I have the strength _in here_ to go on living." She looked down at the knife.  "Finding out that I was a Senshi, and that Usagi was the Princess... You don't know _how_ much that helped, but..."  
  
"'But' what?"  
  
Makoto looked at Ami, and even in the dimly lit room, Ami could see the deep pain in those eyes.  
  
"I have no one that loves me! No family! No senpai..." The last word dropped to a rough whisper as she sagged a little, her head bowing. "I have you and the others as friends, but friendship isn't love. I _need_ \--" Her shoulders shook, and Ami realised she was crying.  
  
Ami took a tentative step toward the couch. When there was no reaction from Makoto, she took another. In moments she was seated by the sobbing girl. Makoto gave a small jerk when Ami laid a hand on her shoulder. Ami slowly put her arm around Makoto's shoulders. While she did so, her other hand took the knife from Makoto's unresisting fingers, and placed it on the table. Then she hugged Makoto close while she cried.  
  
After a time interrupted only by the sound of the storm outside...  
  
"Mako-chan..."  
  
Makoto felt Ami touch her cheek and tried to jerk her head away, suddenly not wanting her sympathy. But the fingers moved down to her chin and forced her to look at Ami. As she blinked the tears out of her eyes, she was surprised to see them welling up in Ami's as Ami stared at her.  
  
"Mako-chan... Some of us _do_ love you.  
  
Makoto looked at Ami uncomprehendingly for a moment before what she had said sunk in. Her eyes went wide. "Ami?!"  
  
Ami's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and as she jerkily nodded her head, they spilled down her cheeks.  
  
Makoto just stared at her. "Ami-chan...when...why?!" she asked in a strained voice.  
  
Ami took Makoto's hand in hers and held it tight. "When we went to the Dark Kingdom and fought Metallia... You saw what we were facing and didn't back down at all. I knew you were as scared as I was, but you never wavered. When we...when Usagi brought us back, my first thought was of you. Not the Princess. Not my duty. _You_." Her tears flowed freely now as she spoke. She brought Makoto's hand up and kissed it almost in supplication, her voice low. "I never said 'I love you' because I was afraid you wouldn't say it back. But I can't let you go on thinking this. I love you, Mako-chan."  
  
Makoto shook as her heart thudded hard in her chest. Her whole body was cold except the hand which Ami held. She could feel Ami's breath on her fingers...  
  
Makoto pulled her hand free and put her arm around Ami's shoulders, holding her close as her other hand came up to cup Ami's cheek. She looked into those deep blue eyes and leaned forward, closing her own as their lips met. She felt a small jolt, an arc impulse, as they kissed. Lightning and water meeting. Ami gave a gasp as she felt it too, then her arms wrapped around Makoto, who held her tight. Makoto could feel the warmth from the kiss moving throughout her body. Her skin tingled and her soul melted as she held the one who loved her close.  
  
After a endless time, they broke the kiss. They both leaned back, breathing heavily as they looked at each other, leaving just their hands in contact.  
  
"Ami-chan..."  
  
"Mako-chan..."  
  
Still holding Ami's hand, Makoto stood and slowly pulled Ami to her feet. Ami stood, her eyes exploring Makoto's face by the light of the lightning that still flashed through the room. Makoto stepped closer and put her arm around Ami's shoulder, and then with a slow, deliberate move, she bent down and scooped Ami into her arms. Ami held tight, her own heart beating hard. Makoto bent her head close and nuzzled Ami's cheek, her voice breaking as she spoke over the rumble of the thunder, "I love you, Ami-chan." Makoto's eyes never left Ami's as she carried her into the bedroom.  
  
Later, as the storm raged outside, and her lover slept beside her, Ami silently cried herself to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Give me your heart  
Make it real  
Or else forget about it  
   --Santana "Smooth"  
  
  
Makoto spun as she looked at herself in the changing area mirror. She giggled as the dark blue skirt flared out. "I _finally_ get to wear the same uniform as you guys! Thank God the high school realises that some girls are tall!" She spun again and looked at Ami. "Whatcha think?" she said with a grin, as she posed hands on hips.  
  
Ami laughed. "It looks great. Beautiful, even," she added with a wink that caused Makoto to blush slightly and turn back to the mirror. "I don't understand why you're getting it _now_ though. We just got the results of the entrance test yesterday. School doesn't start for another month."  
  
Makoto just shook her head as she pulled the scarf off the uniform and headed back into the changing room. "Haven't you ever wanted some certain outfit, Ami? I've been wearing my old school's uniform for years now because they didn't make any Juuban junior high uniforms in my size. As if being tall wasn't enough, my old uniform made me stand out even more. I want to be able to blend in with my friends." Her voice dropped and Ami barely heard it through the door. "I want to not be an outsider."  
  
"Makoto..."  
  
Makoto stepped out of the changing room wearing a floral summer dress with the uniform slung over her shoulder on a hanger. She had a small smile on her face. "Sorry, Ami. Just feeling a little of the old melancholy." She glanced around at the mostly-empty store, then stepped towards Ami and bent down to kiss her on the lips. Her free hand came up to caress Ami's cheek before she broke the kiss. Ami covered the hand with her own, her eyes shining.  
  
"No need for melancholy now."  
  
Makoto's smile grew and she shook her head. "No. Not anymore." She pulled her hand away, but still kept it in Ami's. "Now that I have the right size, let me get a few more sets and we can go get some lunch."

 

* * *

 

In the week since the school entrance results came out, the Hikawa shrine had seen a slow increase in the number of people coming to pray. Rei knew it was because everyone was coming to wish for good fortune in the new school year, or better fortune in retaking the tests. Either way, it meant a welcome increase in business for them. Rei thought she had sold more prayer papers and luck charms today than in the past week. Even the threat of rain hadn't kept people away.  
  
"That will be 600 yen," she said with a smile to the two young girls as she passed them two love charms. They gave her the money and ran away talking about what boys they wanted. Rei sighed as she sat back on her heels, watching the crowd of people. Her thoughts were far removed from the shrine grounds.  
  
"Mako-chan..."  
  
It was a moment before she even realised that she had spoken aloud. She felt heat flush her cheeks as she straightened some charms that didn't need straightening. She needed to stop that. It wasn't right. They--the other Senshi and Mamoru--all knew about Makoto and Ami. Usagi had been a little shocked at the beginning, but couldn't help but be happy for them. Mamoru...well, even after a year and a half he still blushed anytime they were affectionate around him. Which, of course, caused Usagi to tease him about how cute they were together, thus perpetuating the cycle. Minako took it in stride as she did everything. She had even transformed into Sailor Venus and given them her blessing as the Senshi of Love. The memory of it made Rei smile. Mina-chan never did anything by half measures.  
  
As for herself...  
  
Rei _was_ happy for them. She couldn't be anything but.  
  
But still...  
  
She knew the feelings she had for Mako-chan were true and not just jealousy, but she had never spoken of them to anyone. Except when she prayed. Even then she had still not wished things had been different.  
  
But still...  
  
Rei shook her head. It would do no good to dwell on things. Right thought, right action. She took a deep breath and focused on the crowd again. Smiling at all the different emotions she saw on their faces. Hope. Love. Fear. Sorrow.  
  
Her eyes snapped back. That last face...  
  
Ami.  
  
She was praying before the shrine with her head bowed. Only because Rei knew her so well had she noticed who it was. Ami didn't come here often on her own. Rei wondered why she was here now. She definitely didn't need luck in school... As the blue-haired girl turned away from the shrine, Rei blinked. She thought she had seen...  
  
Tears.  
  
Ami _was_ crying. Rei could see them run down her face as she made her way back to the entrance. Just as Rei was beginning to stand to go to her, a group of three girls came up to buy some luck charms. Rei cursed at the timing, but smiled still as she helped the girls before excusing herself and quickly making her way to the shrine gates. By the time she got there, Ami was nowhere to be seen. As she stood there, the skies finally delivered on their promise of rain as it began to sprinkle. Rei went back inside and the crowd thinned quickly as the light rain soon turned into a storm that matched Rei's thoughts. She closed up the stand as night fell, deepening the darkness that the storm had brought.  
  
Rei's thoughts were in turmoil as she cleaned up. It was all she could do not to call Makoto and ask if there was some problem. They had both seemed in high spirits when they had all met the day before to celebrate getting into high school, and Mamoru getting into college.  
  
Eventually she gave in and knelt before the shrine's sacred fire to seek guidance. She prayed far into the night, forgoing dinner as she searched for answers. She knew what her heart told her to do, but was it the right thing?  
  
She felt a spark in her mind and her eyes shot open as the visions danced before her in the fire.  
  
What she saw made her blood run cold.  
  
Barely had the visions ended when she got to her feet and ran out the door. Her transformation pen appeared in her hand as a bright bolt of blue-white lightning turned the world white.

 

* * *

 

Makoto awoke with a start. The rolling-rumble of the thunderclap still echoed in her ears, while her heart thumped hard in her chest. Rain lashed at the window, and the wind howled around the building like a lost soul.  
  
As her heart slowed back down to normal, she noticed that Ami wasn't with her in the bed. She placed her hand on the sheets and realised they were cold, so Ami had been gone for awhile. Makoto slipped out of bed and went into the living room. She could hear the rain very clearly and as she turned toward the sound she saw that the patio door was open and Ami was standing outside. Makoto stepped to the doorway and leaned her head out. "Ami? What's up?"  
  
Ami jumped at Makoto's voice, looking back at her before quickly turning her head. Makoto could see that she was crying. Makoto stepped outside, laying a hand on Ami's shoulder.  
  
"Ami?! What is it? What's wrong?!"  
  
Ami jerked her shoulder away from Makoto's touch and put her hands on top of the low concrete wall that went around the patio. She started shaking her head and Makoto could hear her saying something, but it was so low that the storm almost drowned it out. Listening close, Makoto realised that she was just repeating "I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it" over and over. Not touching her, Makoto moved beside her and just looked at her. "Ami...what it is? What can't you do?" she said, worry creeping into her voice.  
  
Ami turned to her with an expression of utter anguish on her face. "I can't keep lying to you!"  
  
Makoto was frozen in shock for a moment, then she reached toward Ami, "Lying?! Ami, what do y--"  
  
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Ami screamed, as she pushed Makoto away and backed up against the low wall. The rain blowing in and dripping down from the balcony above soaked her in seconds. Ami wrapped her arms around herself and just shook her whole body in denial, tear streaming down her face. "I don't deserve your touch! My God, I've been lying to you from the beginning, Mako-chan!" She pointed into the apartment. "That night, when I saw you...that ONE time in my life when I should have been THINKING..." Ami's eyes were pleading, her voice sounding almost surprised as she spoke, "I saw you and it was all instinct. No well-thought-out plan. No logic. Just instinct. I saw your empty eyes and I could think of nothing but filling them with life again." She clutched her hand to her heart. "...my life..." The shock in Ami's voice caused the last word to drop to a barely-heard whisper. Ami's eyes went wide as she stared at Makoto. "You've become so beautiful. So alive. But I can't keep doing it! I can't do this to YOU!"  
  
Makoto just stared at Ami, a sick realization dawning on her, twisting her guts like a blender. Her voice was hollow. "Ami, what are you saying?"  
  
The world seemed to halt as Ami spoke. Wind and rain stopped. Lightning and thunder stilled. Even the stars above paused in their eternal march...  
  
"I don't love you, Makoto."  
  
Lightning struck and the world went white. The thunderclap cracked windows for a block around. Makoto leaped over the wall and ran into the night. Behind her, Ami dropped to her knees and cried her soul out.

 

* * *

 

As the storm exploded around her, Sailor Jupiter floated to the top of Tokyo Tower. The rain that streaked her face replacing the tears she had long ago run out of. The wind howled and shrieked through the Tower, sounding like a million demons welcoming her to their embrace.  
  
As she settled on an open maintenance platform, she let her aura and transformation fade. Makoto looked at her pen a moment, and then let it slip from her fingers. The wind caught it and it disappeared into the night.  
  
She looked out at the city. Even through the rain, it shone so bright...so beautiful... She saw each light as a person, their love shining in the night, showing the way...  
  
She closed her eyes, blocking out the sight of something she could never have, and reached for the railing.  
  
"Mako-chan!!"  
  
Her eyes snapped open. Not because of the cry, but because of who voiced it. She saw Sailor Mars floating before her, her aura shining bright... Makoto shut her eyes again, and turned her head.  "Go away!"  
  
"No! Mako-chan, I saw what happened in the fire! Ami _told_ me what happened! It's not your fault--"  
  
"I know it's not my fault!" Makoto screamed at her. "It's the damned _universe's_ fault! NOBODY LOVES ME!! Nobody _ever_ has! It's _all_ been a lie! Don't you understand?! I! Can't! Live! Like! This!" She grabbed the railing.  
  
"Usagi loves you."  
  
Makoto looked at Mars, "Usagi loves everybody. That is not the kind of love I'm talking about, and you know it!" She swung one leg over the rail, straddling it.  
  
"...I love you..."  
  
Makoto stopped dead. Her head snapped up and her eyes bored into Mars'. "No. You don't." She swung her other leg over the railing and turned so she was facing the Tower. She leaned back, her grip on the rain-slick rail the only thing keeping her from falling. She closed her eyes...  
  
Only to have them suddenly fly open when she felt a pair of arms snake around her chest, and legs wrap around her waist.  
  
"Wha- Mars?!"  
  
"I _do_ love you, dammit!" Mars' aura faded as did her transformation. She tossed her pen onto the platform. Makoto tightened her grip on the rail, it being the only thing keeping them both from falling. Rei hugged herself fiercely to Makoto's back, her head on Makoto's shoulder.  "Since the first time we met, I have! When I saw you, shining _so_ bright... So full of life! And I wanted to be part of it! But then you...and Ami..."  
  
Makoto looked at Rei, and even with the rain she could see the tears flowing down her face.  Their eyes met and Makoto saw something in her eyes...  
  
Something she had never seen before...  
  
"Makoto, you can let go of the rail and we will both die. But I will die knowing that I have told you what is in my heart. And I will die knowing that _you_ know. And that means I die happy." And with that, Rei closed her eyes, hugged Makoto even tighter, and waited.  
  
Makoto stared at Rei, feeling the warmth of Rei's body against her back, her breath warm against her ear. Rei was clutching her so tightly, she could feel Rei's heart beat...  
  
Makoto pulled herself in towards the railing till she was standing nearly vertical. Her eyes never leaving Rei's face.  
  
"Rei."  
  
Rei opened her eyes, letting a few leftover tears join the rain on her face. "Yes?"  
  
Makoto searched Rei's eyes and there was a desperate tone in her voice, "Why?!"  
  
Rei closed her eyes a moment before looking at Makoto again. There was a ragged edge to her voice as she spoke. "I don't know. I think...I think I loved you--"  
  
"--since _before_ we met..." Makoto interrupted. Her voice and expression matching the shock on Rei's face. "Like you...had been waiting for me..."  
  
Rei stared at her and nodded... "Mako-chan, I don't know if this is a feeling from the past or what, and I don't care, because here and _now_ I have these feelings for you." Rei hugged her again, "Oh, God, the feelings..." She closed her eyes. "Every time I saw you, my heart would jump. Hearing your voice would send shivers along my veins, and your touch..." Her voice became a whisper. "Your touch was like kissing God."  
  
Makoto's eyes went wide and she began to tremble. She pulled them as close as possible to the railing, her own voice hoarse. "Rei, can you get on the platform?"  
  
Rei looked at her and saw that Makoto was not going to let go. She nodded and loosened her grip, maneuvering around to climb over the rail and onto the platform. She grabbed Makoto and helped her over as well, holding her tight once they both were safe. "Oh, God, Makoto...I didn't know. I never knew till tonight." She stroked Makoto's wet hair away from her face, looking deep into her eyes. "Makoto Kino, I will love you forever. Stay with me. Until the worlds stop spinning and the suns grow cold, stay with me."  
  
Makoto's trembling intensified to the point where she could not stand and she dropped to her knees, her eyes never leaving Rei's. Tears again flowed down her cheeks as Rei followed her down. She clung tight to Rei's robes and buried her face in them as Rei held her. Her voice was rough and muffled, but Rei had no trouble understanding her words. "I will stay with you forever, Rei Hino...and I will love you even longer.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really itching to edit this fic, ("best writing I'd ever done" LOL -_-) but I'm going to leave it as it was originally posted on FF.net. A story is never really truly finished, only abandoned. What follows is the original afterword. Thank you for reading. ^_^
> 
> \------
> 
> Whew... A fanfic eight years in the making. The first/earliest existing draft I have of it is from 1999. And a second one from 2001. Since then it hadn't been touched till last week.
> 
> It all really started about two weeks ago. Thanks to Nightbreak, I began reading through the various fics on my harddrive, and came across the first two drafts. Looking them over, I realised that it was some of the best writing I'd ever done. That lead me to finish it up. And here it is.
> 
> This story is based on the manga. If something from the anime snuck in, it wasn't on purpose. The story starts after the defeat of Metallia, and ends before the Dead Moon Circus arc. And yes, in the manga, the Senshi can fly after a fashion. They're Magical Girls. What do you expect?
> 
> This...was not easy to write. I am a fan of the Makoto/Ami pairing and I went places in this I didn't expect. Just reading it over is hard. Imagine what writing it was like.
> 
> The genesis of this fic was really a drawing of Makoto sitting behind Ami on a hill while a wind blew around them. The differing expressions on their faces made me explore what they were thinking at that 'Moment In Time'. Which was the name of the ficlet that came from it. For some reason I wrote another ficlet from Rei's point of view, titled 'Want'. I truly don't know where that one came from, as I'd never seen Rei as a match for either Ami or Makoto. Both fics are up on fanfiction.net if you're curious. They both take place in the year and a half that passes between the beginning and end of this fic. (They also both need to be edited somewhat, but they've been on ff.net forever, so I'm loath to change things now. Maybe I'll make up a couple of 'Version 1.1' copies...)
> 
> As for the soundtrack...when I first heard the song quoted in this fic, I fell in love with it. The lyrics quoted are truly part of the fic itself. Especially the ones at the beginning. They explain some of the ideas expressed in it. At times while completing this fic, I had the song on continuous play for hours to get me through some of the emotionally charged scenes. And I still love it. Now that's a good song.
> 
> My thanks to the following people:
> 
> Early drafts:  
> The Fanfic Revolution for being awesome  
> Erica Friedman for critiques  
> The nuts in #fanfics (circa '99-'01) for being themselves
> 
> Finished fic:  
> Nightbreak for getting me back into fanfics  
> Chris Davies for the Together Again: 2937 stories that kickstarted me  
> LeVar Bouyer for being a Rule Three abiding author  
> The nuts in #eltreum for being themselves  
> ChibiUnunnilium for last-minute ununderstanding that made me try to explain things a little better  
> Corvus for the title
> 
> 12/12/07 (Slight editing and spellchecking (oops!) on 12/31/07. Happy New Year!)


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